Adoption Dreams

When I was young, I remember telling my mom that I desperately wanted God to give me a love story worth writing a book about. I was am a hopeless romantic who loved to waste away my spare time lost in a novel. The amount of luxurious moments lost in the world of reading is now quite a bit less than in those days, but the love is still there.

I still remember the deep yearning for a white knight to come sweep me off my feet, to prove his love for me by battling against insurmountable odds, and to live happily ever after. Well, he did. God brought me a love story worth writing a book about…

… but it wasn’t at all what I expected.

Turns out I got to be one of the knights.


“People are going to think we’re nuts,” I said to Zach. We were sitting on the couch after church one evening praying, talking, and crying.

“Well, it is pretty crazy to think about having a baby in six weeks, but when God asks His people to do things, it is usually pretty crazy,” He replied. One of the many reasons I love my husband so much is his calm, steady decidedness to go with whatever the Lord brings our way. For the last two weeks, my normally steady nature seemed to have dissolved into a puddle of emotional uncertainty. I was all over the place and, through it all, my husband never lets anything faze him.

So let’s go back a little further in the story, to where this all began.


A Seed Planted

My husband, Zach, and I met in college freshman year. We fell in love our junior year, graduationengaged our senior year, and married shortly after graduation. Three days after a simple honeymoon to the mountains, we packed up and moved to Seminary. Zach felt the call of ministry (youth ministry in particular) since he was 13 years old. I knew the Lord had called us to be a ministry team, a couple united in doing the Lord’s work. We both tackled Seminary at the same time, working multiple jobs, and trying to make ends meet. It took five long, hard years but at last, we both walked across that stage the same day.

We began ministry life together while we were still very ignorant and inexperienced but we were (… nope!) are so grateful that our wonderful church chose to overlook that and invite us to minister to and with them.

Ever since our dating relationship, we had been hoping to adopt one day. Zach’s cousin had been adopted when he was 16 and she was and is the delight of his whole family! (She was a flower girl in our wedding!)

wedding flower girl

The Direction Set

I had always thought adoption was a beautiful thing and we both wanted a big family so when the “how many kids?” question came up in the normal course of our dating relationship, adoption was in both our hearts. So our dream has always been to have a family that was lovingly constructed by God in unexpected and unique ways.

I wait for the time when I get to
Know every feature unique to you
Though they may be unlike mine… 

About two years after we got married, God laid adoption on my heart again. I mean, heavily laid it on my heart. I kept hearing about adoption on the radio. It would come up in conversation with friends. I stumbled upon verse after verse after verse in my quiet time and kept hearing about the incredible need for adoptive families. God even gave me the clearest dream I ever had that showed me a glimpse of my unique family. The call was clear to me.

Zach and I discussed it and prayed about it. We even called an agency and interviewed. The lady politely told us that we weren’t ready to adopt yet. She said in that motherly sort of way that “while we were in Seminary we should keep working hard and stay afloat.” She promised to call back in a year and see how things were going… We’re still waiting for that call! But she was right. We weren’t ready. I was working three jobs and going to school full time. Zach was working at the church, which took up most of his time and trying to finish up his MDiv. A baby really wasn’t in the cards just yet…

My Hope

As you continue to follow our adoption journey, my hope is it inspires you to have courage in your own adoption dreams as well as helps equip you with knowledge about how to support other families in the midst of this incredible and difficult process. Not everyone is called to adopt but we all can make a difference in the lives of children everywhere through adoption advocacy. Each child deserves a home and every parent willing to take on the challenge of adoption needs a community of support. Let’s be that support for each other!

Continue reading Part Two

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