Trust In the Lord
We’re glad you have joined in as I recount the tale of our adoption of our sweet Dawson. If you haven’t read Part 1 of the story, you may find it here.
So it was not the right time. Time to play the waiting game which meant only one thing: PLANNING TIME! Surprised? I have control problems, what can I say? So two years ago, I started to research. And research, and research, and read, and hunt, and gather, and ponder, and pray.
There was an overwhelming amount of information out there that I had no idea where to start. My head was swimming! International? Hague? Country? Domestic? Agency? Private? Foster? In a word, I was “mind-boggled.” And most of all, I was most definitely overwhelmed by the cost. It made me slightly angry at first that there were so many needy kids and the cost was deterring so many available families. But I knew for sure that God had a lot of work to do to make this thing happen and so did we!
We talked with families we knew who had adopted. We asked questions, took notes, and stored all this information up in our hearts and laptops, hoping for the day that we would be ready to begin our own adoption.
Also in the meantime, two sets of our closest friends adopted babies. Walking with them through their various journeys, we saw the immense pain of infertility and the emotional roller coaster of the adoption ride. Quite honestly, it scared me to death. I began to think that God might have gotten us in over our heads with this whole adoption thing.
The mind of man plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps. Proverbs 16:9
Finding Our Way
So where did that leave us? Apprehensive. Uncertain. Still mind-boggled. And we started to think that maybe biological children might be an easier way to start this whole children/family thing. So we started trying.
… And kept trying…
… And after more than a year, I started wondering what was going on.
I knew that Zach and I were coming to a crossroads.
Have you had fertility tests done?
The question started rolling in regularly from friends and family who knew our hopes and dreams for a family. Our life is an open book so I never minded the questions which were always meant with genuine love and support. But I didn’t want fertility tests to be done.
Between putting our time and money into testing or toward adoption, we both knew where those resources should be going. Secondly, we didn’t want adopted children to feel like our plan B, that adoption was pursued only after we found out biological kids weren’t an option. For some couples, infertility is what God uses to inspire their adoption journey which is beautiful and part of their story. For us, however, that wasn’t the case. We felt called to this a long time ago and God was showing us if we had biological kids first, we would completely miss out on his adoption plan for us. After over a year of trying to get pregnant, I desperately desired a biological child (and Zach would tell you how much he was enjoying the “trying” process) but honestly Zach and I both felt God’s prompting to adopt first.
So in late February of 2015, I shared with a close friend how we were completely open to God’s timing for adoption. My heart desired God’s will but the mountain seemed so tall and daunting. The directions were still clouded. Domestic vs. international? Agency vs. private? And how were we going to pay for this?
Ask and you shall receive, right?